PSA: Making Decisions for your Health

Medical emergencies are horrific, there's no way around that. But did you know that in many states, if something were to happen to you or your spouse that rendered one of you unable to speak up for oneself, the other spouse and family would be helpless to make any decisions.

Take my neighbor for example. Had she not died, but ended up in a coma or even been rendered mentally handicapped, her husband could not have legally made decisions for her care UNLESS they had jointly written up and signed a "Durable Health Power of Attorney" previously.

We recently encountered a scary situation where family friends did not have this particular set-up in place. The wife had no prior medical or mental instability history but a number of circumstances piled up and she snapped one day out of the blue while her husband was at work and kids were at school.

Her care necessitated that she be medicated, however, in Maryland, when someone is ‘committed’ that does not grant the doctor the right to administer medication against the patient’s will (though in some states they can). In fact, in order to get permission the doctor has to request a medical panel to present the patient’s case. The panel of doctors/social workers does not evaluate the necessity of the medication or it’s probable efficacy given the facts, but rather whether or not the patient represents a ‘danger’ to themselves or to others types of medications.

In this particular situation, the patient was deemed to be lucid enough in front of the panel to make her own decisions. This, even though she was incredibly delusional and every time they can get her to take meds she starts to get better and then refuses all medication and goes off the deep end again. When she goes off the deep end, she refuses food and drink and any other sort of care but there is nothing anyone can do. The whole situation has been been going on for more than a year now and has even gone to court.

Legally, the hospital can only allow the husband to see her during visiting hours and he is not allowed to be privy to any details to her care due to privacy and HIPAA regulations. This is not just in cases of mental illnesses but also in situations of unconsciousness and comatose states.

The last thing you want when going through a medical emergency is having to fight for your right to care for your spouse but many people don't know there are laws like this in place (as evidenced by the fact that the majority of the population does not have Durable Health Power of Attorney established) until something happens and they end up fighting against it. So consider this my PSA. Do yourselves a favor, especially if you have kids. Write up a Durable Health Power of Attorney and file it away safety away with your will (please tell me you have one of those too) and pray you'll never have to use it. It's super super easy to do, if it seems to complicated and over you head, there is software available that can walk you through it in under an hour.

I'm curious, any of you already have one?