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Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Check out the other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless

Do you'll know that one in five divorces cite facebook as the cause?

I know when Hubs and I first heard that statistic we weren't surprised (in fact, it more felt like a thought we already had was validated!) but then again, we've seen the dangers of facebook and other social networks played out in several of our friends lives.

Does that statistic surprise any of you?

I admit it's just one more encouragement for me to delete my facebook account altogether. See this fantastic post for many of the other reasons why, I couldn't have written it better myself.

The only things keeping me on there is the few select people that I would have no other way to contact and the ability to schedule events.

I've heard of couples holding joint accounts or setting up family pages rather than maintaining invidual accounts. We haven't gone that far yet (we both have individual accounts but often times are too lazy to switch back and forth) but who knows, maybe once we have kids?

Crazy Person

It's becoming my usual to zip in and out, disappearing for days at a time. I think I always end up holding on, expecting life to slow down a bit but it never does.

I'm thinking maybe I just need to re-prioritize a bit more and lower my expectations....

My first step is to put a good plan into place for these parties and then leave it all be. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed since not only does the house need to be spotless inside and out, but there are still a lot of projects I'm in the middle of and that, as much as I've love for them to be done, there just isn't enough time or money for it to happen before this weekend.

I've finally reached the conclusion that no matter how perfect everything is, it's not going to make people like us any more nor win us any new friends, so I might as well get over that thought now. As silly as that might sounds, hubs and I still feel that we have a whole lot of acquaintances and not a whole of friends. We've been finding ourselves a bit lonely but that's a whole other post...

Sadly, it took me an entire day of scrubbing mold, mildew and 15+ years of filth off of our pressure treated deck, that is original to the house and has never been treated, to come to that conclusion? It was 100+ degrees and humid and I'm out there with a scrub brush covering myself and hubs in muck. As a result, I could barely type yesterday, who knew how many muscles you had in your fingers!

I just can't believe I have become that crazy person! If I really thought about it, I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone who judged me because the deck was dirty! Why couldn't I have realized this before I got a horrible farmer's tan and nearly broke my back (and all my nails!) over that deck!?!

I've been sleeping horribly the last week and this morning I realized it's not just the heat but it's also because I keep jolting awake, with some realization that I forgot to put something on my to-do list!

So that's that. I've promised myself and Hubs, no more crazy person. I've planned out the menu, made a list of the basics that need to be done and I'm letting the rest go. Wish me luck!

Feature Friday

Mmm so happy the weekend is nearly here! The upcoming parties have me dreaming of getting away with Hubs and going for nice romantic picnic, just like when he proposed! Today's Friday feature is one of my favorite items we registered for and didn't get. :( One of these days, I hope to get it, I think it would be perfect for Hubs and I!


The table dissassembles quickly and stores in the green bag you see in the bottom right-hand corner. I've seen the table & chair set in person and it is just gorgeous! Hubs, will you buy this set for me us for a happy-3rd-proposal-anniversary coming up next Thursday??? We could go for another romantic picnic anniversary date!!!


I also love the picnic blanket and basket. So perfect for summer getaways! All three items are available here. It's been so long since Hubs and I have gone out for a picnic but the thought of a delicious crusty panini and fresh fruit has my mouth watering! We have so many beautiful places around here, it's a shame we don't picnic more often!

Also, some lovely little giveaways going on right now for those of you interested:
Carol & Katherine over at In Pursuit of Pretty Things have a lovely giveaway for an anthro giftcard & necklace from Oh Hello Friend
Kathleen over at Princess of Taylor has a lovely giveaway for an anthro giftcard & bondi band headband.
Emily over at Spilling the Beans has a lovely giveaway for a MAC giftcard!
Kim over at Anthroholic has a lovely giveaway for a Shabby Apple Dress!
Sara over at You, Me & Anthropologie has a lovely giveaway for a CSN giftcard, I have seen this store popping up everywhere and I have been dying to check it out!

The Comparison Factor

The house has taken over every ounce of my free time as of late. My monstrous to-do list is several pages long and as fast as I attempt to cross things off, more items are added on.

We're hosting a weekend full of summer barbecues over the 4th of July weekend that at this point is only a week and a half away!

*eeek*

The parties (yes, plural!!!) are essentially house-warming parties, as no one has seen the house yet, (you all got the first look!) except for the whole part of people bringing presents (darn!!!).

Instead, it seems everyone and their mother will be attending and somehow we are feeding these large crowds of people and going to have a presentable place to entertain.

*nervous laugh*

Do you all hear that noise? Yeah, that's the grocery budget jumping out the window...

To say the least, I don't feel like our house is anywhere close to being ready nor does a week and a half seem like very much time.

I adore our little home and up to this point, I've been tremendously enjoying the settling in process and spending my free time puttering around the house. With these parties on the horizon, however, that is all changing. Now I feel a rush to get it all done and take care of all the finishing touches we seem to be missing.

The majority of the people attending are people close in age, either single or married (no dates or significant others), only a select few have small children. For those that are married, I know that we will be battling the comparison factor.

I know it's inevitable and yet I still feel uncomfortable preparing to deal with the scrutiny and whether or not we "measure up". I know this comparison factor is just part of life. It starts when we're kids and seemingly goes the whole lifetime but it doesn't make it seem any more pleasant to deal with.

Call it keeping up with the Jones if you want but boy, once you hit adulthood it seems to be all about the status quo. How big your house is, your closet, what labels you wear, what kind of car you have, whether or not you have kids, how many "toys" you have and how nice they are.

It doesn't help that these are people that we have meet relatively recently and we're still getting to know...

Interestingly, today was supposed to be a Wedded Wednesday post and while it didn't start out that way it seems to be coming a full circle.

Hubs and I have dealt with a tremendous amount of comparison since getting married and it's really frustrating. I hate worrying about what others think. Most of the time I can successfully put it to the side and not care but it's hard to ignore when other's make it blatantly obvious and drill you on your choices and openly compare themselves to you to your face. I close up like a clam and just shut everyone out then...

I'm really hoping that there isn't too much of it during the parties but if any of you all have dealt with this and have suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

House Tour: Bathroom

Alright, continuing the house tour, we have the bathroom next! I decided to switch up the format a bit and first show you where we started so that you can have a better idea of what we had to work with. The whole house was awful but the bathroom was definitely the worst imo. Here is about where we had started (we had already eagerly ripped up the nasty plastic tiles glued haphazardly to the floor and scrapped off the plastic blind that had been flattened and melted to the window before I remembered to take a picture):



The hot water heater was located in the left hand corner there (hidden by those awful bi-fold doors), terrible placement as that part of the house was an overhang and poorly insulated so every time freezing temperatures would hit, the hot water heater would start to freeze (and the electricity bills would shoot up to several hundred) and the toilet pipes would freeze and split open. Our tenant would always assume that the pipes where just blocked and plunge merrily away at the toilet until we would discover the massive ice sculptures forming under that side of the house, essentially giant icicles going from the floor underneath all the way down to the ground. We should have taken pictures as they were at least ten feet long and at their widest part I couldn't even get my arms around! Also note the fantastic placement of the toilet, front and center in front of the window, at least it had a great view for the guys, right??? :)


What's that? You're insanely jealous of my incredibly awesome light fixture there? How about a closer look!


Oh so classy! I should note that we were not responsible for any of the design decisions for the bathroom, it looked like this when we bought it (this hopefully was pretty obvious but I just had to put that disclaimer in there :D)! And it goes great with that puke-tastic paint color (not sure if it shows in the pictures but the walls were streaked with gray/brown and green stripes from moisture and aging and improper care!

Everything was ripped out with great relish except the bathtub which thankfully after a good scrubbing & finishing we were able to salvage and turn into something quite nice! These next pictures were taken when we started re-working the bathroom. The hot water heater was moved downstairs to the insulated laundry room, the window seat was knocked out and the toilet was removed from the center of the room:

Once the hot water heater was removed, we were able to open up the space and put in a bigger vanity and move the toilet over to the side. Knocking out the window seat added some great storage space as well! Allow me to present the current look!







Look at the beautiful view! We picked up a gorgeous textured bamboo shade that mirrors the browns in the vanity and the tile and compliments them perfectly. We love the bamboo because it's not a privacy shade in the sense that blocks everything completely, but it's private enough that if someone where to happen to be standing outside the window (chance in a million though with no houses around) they wouldn't be able to see in with it closed. This works perfectly when it's hot during the day, we can close the shade to block the heat but it still lets enough light in that you don't have to turn on a light in the middle of the day. Sorry there are no pictures of the shower, it was tough to get a good angle, even standing on the toilet. Just picture it right across from the toilet and vanity, simple yet elegant bronze shower rod, black textured curtain and white shower. :)

What do you all think?

I'm back!

I'm so sorry to disappear without warning and for not finishing the house tour! I even missed Wedded Wednesday yesterday! A trip to New England had me in a flurry of activity Thursday and Friday, as we left at 5:30am Saturday morning and got back home late afternoon yesterday. I'm slowly getting my act back together and will finish up the house tour this week! In the meantime, there are gobs of giveaway going on right now and I thought I'd share! :)

Peggy at She Hath Done What She Can Do has a giveaway for a gift certificate to CSN!

Ady over at Growing up Anthro has a giveaway for an anthro giftcard!

Sara over at You, Me & Anthropologie also has a giveaway for an anthro gifcard!

Fashion for the Economically Challenged is hosting a giveaway for a variety of giftcards, you get to pick from a list if you win!

The BonBon Rose Girls have several giveaways going on right now, the kate spade giveaway is my favorite!

Meggy at Chasing Davies is hosting a Sex in the City shoe giveaway!

The always gorgeous Andi over at Saltwater Dreams is hosting a lovely giveaway with an assortment of fun items!

Kim at Anthroholic is hosting a beautiful etsy giveaway by Silver Lining Decor for a gorgeous pair of earrings!

*Phew* that was a long list and I'm probably missing a bunch on here as well! I'm working on the next House tour post but in the meantime, hope you all enjoy!

Boundaries

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Check out the other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless

Ok guys, quick break from the house tour for a Wedded Wednesday post! I've been thinking a lot lately about boundaries in a relationship and I'm curious to get your thoughts on the matter.

I feel that it's incredibly important to establish boundaries in order to guard and protect that relationship. Boundaries for work, boundaries for family members, even boundaries for social life. I've definitely noticed that not everyone shares my feelings though and some find boundaries too restricting, causing them to feel uptight.

If boundaries aren't established and held firm to, life has a tendency to run right over you and you're left all out of sorts in the relationship. The problem that results for Hubs and I, in our relationship, is that if we don't establish our boundaries for the outside world, we don't realize they've been overstepped or gone past the point of tolerance until it's too late and WE NEED A BREAK NOW. It's a lot harder to take the break and pull back when in you're in the middle of something affecting other people then it is to prepare beforehand and make those aware that need to be.

Of course there are always going to be times or situations where exceptions need to be made for emergencies but generally speaking, I'm learning to set my boundaries beforehand and life becomes so much more clear.

For example, all of a sudden work needs you to work 14 hour days, just because. You know that mentally, you crack after 12 and you have plans for some of those days already established. Do you succumb to the pressure again and again, even though you know it has a damaging effect on your health and relationship? Or do you press back and stand up for yourself.

Or family decides on a date and time for a certain event that has a large affect on you and your significant other's plans-you don't have to attend the event but the event will happen at your house whether you're there or not-how do you know when enough is enough if you haven't established the boundaries?

Hubs and I have learned that there will always be days and times when work requires more of our time than others (we're accountants-it goes with the title), there will be times when family needs us and there will be times when there are more social invitations than our calender can logistically handle. Establishing and agreeing on our boundaries ahead of time helps relieve that stress and pressure SO MUCH for us.

What do you guys think? Is this something you have done in your relationships subconsciously? Made a concerted effort to sit down and establish them ahead of time? Go with the flow and deal as it comes?

House Tour: Master Bedroom

Since you guys are enjoying the house tour, we'll continue with the master bedroom!

I love these lamps, when the light is off it looks like a normal white lamp shade but when the light is on, the damask print on the inside of the shade shines through. It's such a fun little extra touch!

Ugh, sorry the pictures are so blurry, my camera can't seem to get a non-blurry shot even when on a tripod! Anyway, you get a glimpse of our shoe closet that is still awaiting it's molding (I'm thinking of leaving off the doors altogether). I won't go into details over the ratio of his and her's but we'll just say it's a lot to a little. :)

I still want to get a canvas to hang over our bed, a mirror to hang over my vanity, a tall floor to ceiling mirror to lean against the wall next to Hub's dresser and create our gallery wall on the blank wall that you catch a glimpse of in the first picture. I also need to get a new jewelry stand for my vanity. The beauty of it is that they are all finishing touches and I have the time to be picky about finding exactly what I we want now(and saving for it all too!) vs. a mad dash to get all settled in. I'm also thinking of getting a cedar chest or tufted bench to put at the foot of the bed! What do you all think of the room?

House tour continues?

Blogger has been a pain to work with today guys but just wanted to put a quick question out there. Should I continue with the house posts or are they totally boring and should we just move on? :) No sense in taking the time to take the pictures and post them if they are boring to everyone else!

House Tour: kitchen

I finally found my camera and was able to take pictures of the kitchen. My apologies for the dark and blurry pictures, it seems my camera didn't take well to the move, no matter how I changed the settings or adjusted the light, the camera just wasn't happy. I think I know what I'll be asking for, for my upcoming birthday!

Anyway, we'll start we'll start with the kitchen and hopefully I'll be able to post the rest of the rooms throughout the week, maybe I'll do a room a day.

***Edited to add: The spice jars are Gneiss Spice on etsy and they are fabulous, I cannot recommend them enough! Bethany fromo Gneiss Spice was kind enough to give me several 10% off coupons to share with my readers, feel free to email me if you'd like one!***

It's still a work in progress. We are saving up for the upper cabinets, so in the meantime we have a lot of empty wall space and not a whole lot of storage space. The counters will clear up a lot and allow for a few more appliances to sit out once the uppers are in. I also have yet to find cabinet hardware that I love, so that project is still in the works. We are working on picking out a back splash (we would love to do glass but haven't found the right color blend) and a Tiffany lamp to hang over the table in the corner. I also want to find a few more wall hangings. In the last picture above, the large empty space next to the window (probably the upper half of the wall) will be covered in a gallery of antique plates that I have collected over the years-I just need to decide on the final arrangement. So there is still lots to be done. The kitchen has the most work left to be done out of all the rooms but thankfully it's mostly decorative work and finishing touches and we're able to function in it for now. What do you all think? Completely boring???

Feature Friday

*ahem* so about the pictures...I canceled yesterday's house post because....let's just say we made some rather LARGE changes to the living room and kitchen yesterday soooooo....it seemed silly to post pictures of rooms that are no longer, I hope you will accept my apologies but when the swirl of packing peanuts dies down tonight I will retake the photos and we will start with the kitchen since I know most of you were dying for that! Thankfully there aren't too many rooms in the house :) so it won't take very long to get through the whole house!

While we are waiting for that, it's on to today's Feature Friday, the Longchamp Le Pilage tote bag!

It's available at a variety of department stores but my favorite would be Nordstroms for their marvelous customer service. I have longed for one of these bags for a number of years as I know it would be the perfect solution for all our travels. My purse always ends up turning into a dumping ground of both our stuff when we travel and it ends up weighing 20-30 pounds! My favorite color is the bilberry color (a lovely deep purple) but I also like the navy & black colors as well. Can you tell I go for the colors that won't show stains? :)

Everywhere I've seen the bag featured I've heard it cleans up well, lasts a long time & is incredibly light-weight. The bag also comes in a variety of sizes which would be sooooo perfect for our travels, the mini, the large, the expendable carry-on & my first choice, the regular. Although, hubs, if you're reading this, I'll take one of each please! I'm curious to know if any of you ladies have one of these and if you like them? I nearly bit the bullet during the Nemien Marcus sale (or maybe Saks) but I just couldn't make up my mind in time. I've been kicking myself ever since our Disney trip as I know it would have been TOTALLY perfect for that trip but with upcoming trips to New England, Chicago, Atlanta & New York this year, I'm sure I could still get plenty of use!

Going Somewhere Together

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Check out the other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless

Do you ever have goals that require action from others in order for you to achieve them? I seem to have a lot of these goals in my professional and personal life. They are often the most frustrating for me because if the action from the other people isn't timely or done in the correct manner, you end up stuck!

Marriage is often made up of many of these types of goals, don't you think? When Hubs and I put our heads together and make our goals joint, it flows a lot more smoothly vs. when I have a goal that requires action on his part but my goal is not necessarily his goal and thus might not get done when/how I want it done. Does that make any sense? It comes down to the marriage essentials of teamwork, communication & compromise. Funny how much of marital life seems to boil down to one of these essentials (which in turn I think boil down to love and respect).

For example, we both have a goal to pay off all our student loans, but how and when we, as individuals, might achieve that goal can definitely vary. Life flows so much more seamlessly when we communicate and create these goals together but it can be depressing how easy it is to veer off into our own personal methods of achievement. Hubs is relentless when he has a goal...He decides on a goal and it's going to get done and he won't rest until then. Sometimes it can be exhausting being on his "team" because it can feel like an obsession. I, on the other hand, tend to go through spurts, I'll be relentless for awhile, get exhausted from the constant so I get a bit too lax and need to straighten back up again. This method can drive Hubs crazy because it ends up all over the place.

There's a happy medium in there somewhere and I'll let you know how long it takes us to reach that point!

A similar example is our method of cooking/clean-up. One of our unspoken rules is that if one person cooks, the other person cleans up. Or, if we both cook, we both clean-up. Early on in our relationship we discovered a slight problem with this agreement. I would cook and so the dishes would be left to Hubs. He would always do the dishes, they just would get done on his time and not mine. This would become a problem when it was time to cook the next meal and the dishes weren't done. Plus I hate walking into a messy kitchen. It would sometimes turn into me cooking and cleaning-up just because it was hard for me to relax with the mess sitting in the other room. He in turn would get mad at me for doing the dishes just because I couldn't accept his timetable. :) Thankfully we went through that a lot before we were married so we tend not to have it crop up as much now. Gosh that seems like a lifetime ago!

We hit a really big goal over the weekend in paying off another student loan, we're poor as church mice now and will be for quite awhile but it took a whole lot of combined efforts to have gotten this far so we're trying to come up with a way to celebrate (cheap or even better for free) and recognize each other for making our goal! What's one goal that you've met that you're really proud of and that required effort on someone else's part?

That's a Wrap!

Wow, I need a 3.5 day weekend every week! How was everyone's memorial weekend? Ours was very busy, HOT but fun!

Saturday, Hubs and I were super productive-we managed to get a number of boxes unpacked and put away, some work on the house done, I found my camera and took some pictures of the house (!!!) and then we ended the day with a delicious homemade dinner and movie.

Sunday, we joined the family for a delicious luncheon and then we all drove out to Wolf Trap Park, National Park of Performing Arts for a picnic dinner and fireworks and free concert by The President's Own (United States Marine Band that performs at the White House and presidential functions). The only downer was that I totally forgot my camera, I was pretty bummed about that! The performance was spectacular and the fireworks incredible. I always find fireworks so magical and they put off a pretty impressive display Sunday night.

Monday was spent doing laundry, making returns, ordering part of Hub's birthday presents & essentially catching up on life. It can be so tough to get everything done in a two day weekend so it was nice to have the extra day to tackle all those extra things that never seem to get done.

I'm sorry this is a picture-less post, I will try and get pictures posted of the house in the next day or so, which room do you all want to see first??? :)