Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Check out the other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless
Today's Wedded Wednesday post might be a little controversial to some but it is something that the longer I'm married the stronger I feel about it-so I'm going to write about it anyway!
When hubs and I first dated, I cared a lot about what he thought. I care more than ever today but it is a different sort of caring (haha-now I know he's not going anywhere! jk, I love you babe! :)). Back when we were friends and then eventually dating...I didn't know where the relationship was going. I had hopes but all I knew was that this gorgeously sexy, integrity-filled man was showing interest in me and I really wanted that interest to keep going. So...what did I do? Well pretty much tried to make sure I always crossed my t's and dotted my i's. While still staying true to my "style", you better believe he saw me dressed in my nicest clothes, make-up (what little I wore), heels etc... He disliked lateness-I learned to be punctual (at least when it involved him). His favorite team was the Red Sox-I followed the team, learned all the players and their stats. He grew up playing ice hockey every day-I learned the rules for that....I'm sure you can see where this is going. I cared a lot about what he thought, not in a desperate sort of way but in a besotted teenage crush sort of way. :) He was the first guy I ever fell in love with, thankfully the only guy I ever fell in love with!
When we dated and were engaged, I continued this trend, though he probably saw me in scrubs and minus a shower a few more times than before. And then wooooaaaaahhh, we were married and it's like "Hi, actually you married a different person" lol....quite a bit of an exaggeration there but I've definitely noticed a trend that I'm not happy about-the longer we are married, the less time I tend to take putting a little effort into myself. :( Especially when we are just laying around the house or hanging out at home! Poor hubs! He never complains but he sees an awful lot more of sweats and jeans and t-shirts than he used to! He claims that I'm just as cute in those clothes but I see the way his eyes light up when I take the time and effort to put on something nice.
Sometimes I wonder if I only recognize when he appreciates what I'm wearing because I feel better about myself when I put the effort in and thus, am more ok with accepting and acknowledging that appreciation or if really...it's just because I look much better showered and dressed cute! I'm tempted to say the latter!
I know this is something that I feel strongly about wanting to tackle before we have kids because any bad habits I've picked up now...will only get worse when children start getting added to the mix and my body starts changing along with significantly less time. This is something that actually made my new year's resolutions this year and so far it's been going pretty well. I don't get decked out every day but it has changed a number of my habits-even affected how I shop! I've discovered all sorts of new designers and shops and I've been very excited to start pulling boxes out of storage with all my clothes, I am extremely looking forward to having a closet and my vanity back again, it will make this whole process so much easier!
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10 comments:
I hear ya girl I'm the same way I sometimes wonder if my husband thinks that I'm two different people the one he dated and the one he married. I'm so guilty of going home putting on pj's taking off my make up and throwing my hair in a pony tail so not cute. I'll join you in this challenge :)
You're not alone! I could have written this post :) Especially now that I am a housewife/student--I stay in my jammies until it's time to go to class, and even that doesn't warrant much more than jeans, a hoodie, flip flops & a pony tail (no make up!)
I got all snazzy to meet hubby for an event while he was at work the other day and his eyes lit up like it was our first date. I really need to make more of an effort in this area...
I can definately relate... being comfortable with hubby definately changed the number of times I put on make up, got dressed up, etc.
I got in a really bad habit of coming home and immediately putting on sweats to be comfy. These days, I try to keep my work clothes on a little longer... or I make sure to get dressed up a little more than usual when we go out on the weekends or go to church.
As far as style, I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of gal, but I do love me a cute dress! :)
I think most of us 20-something newly-ish weds could have written this!! It takes effort to really "try" now. And why bother? We are married, we "have" them now. But, like you said, the look in their eyes when they light up after seeing us in heels with a little lipstick is just amazing. Haha! I have to remind myself that he is worth the effot still. Just maybe not every day...hahah! I enjoy my pjs after work TOO much!
Oh I can totally relate. Now that we're an old married couple it is SO HARD to keep up appearances. Heck, the minute the hubs and I moved in together it was hard to keep up appearances. I'm lucky he loves me!
I totally hear ya! I feel this way sometimes!
I don't this is controversial at all, but that's hardly surprising based on how much we line up lol.
There's a fine line between being vain and not up keeping appearances . . . God gave man eyes, we want them to stay on their wives.
I think it's perfectly normal for you to have started hanging out in sweats more the longer you've been with your husband. I mean, you actually feel comfortable enough now with him that you're not constantly worried about whether or not he's judging you when you decide to not dress up! It's great that you want to dress up more, though it sounds a lot more like it's because you miss the fun of dressing up rather than because you want to look sexy "for him." Which is awesome, because you should totally look great for yourself!
You lost me after the Red Sox comment....there's just something about a Yankee fan and a Sox fan.. ;)
But seriously, I am the same way. I have "changed" or become more laid-back since we've married. I think that we are comfortable with ourselves, with us as a couple, and with our home environment and no longer feel the need to constantly "impress" the other one. I continue to live my life like a good person and strive to be someome that he is proud to be married to. But the superficial things, makeup, hair, attire, punctuality, all blow to the side (even his habit of leaving the shoes under the desk instead of in the closet) are all insignificant at the end of the day because we're together and happy with one another.
But I do like the times we make a concerted effort to dress up and look good and enjoy one another's company. It's actually more fun than always being "on" like we were when we were dating, you know?
I love and appreciate your honesty with these topics and don't think you're controversal!
I can totally relate to this. Having been married 10 years in April both Husband and I are guilty of this. He comes home and immediately changes to shorts and a t-shirt. I work from home and used to stay in PJs until noon then put on jeans or shorts and a tee. Now I try to at least put on a nice shirt and/or cardigan with my jeans or shorts and hide those bags under my eyes with a little make-up. If we go out I'll wear a skirt and add a little blush, mascara and gloss.
It's really hard to not get into a mundane routine as the years go by and kids come into the picture. I feel a little better about myself making that tiny effort and I think he appreciates it too.
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