Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Check out the other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless
I heard about the wonderful idea of having your wedding guests offer up marital advice in place of a guest book a little too late to implement it at my own wedding but I LOVE the idea. Oh well, our next wedding, right honey? lol... Anyway, I recently read this article from Family Life on the 5 things couples wished they known before they were married. It had some really great advice! I've included a copy of the article below:
"1. Marriage is not all about you. It's not about your happiness and self-fulfillment. It's not about getting your needs met. It's about going through life together and serving God together and serving each other. It's about establishing a family. It's about committing your lives to each other even though you may be very different in 10, 20, or 40 years from the people you are now.
2. You are about to learn a painful lesson--you are both very selfish people. This may be difficult to comprehend during the happy and hazy days of courtship, but it's true, and it shocks many couples during their first years of marriage. It's important to know this revelation of selfishness is coming, because then you can make adjustments for it, and you will be a lot better off.
3. The person you love the most is also the person who can hurt you the deepest. That's the risk and pain of marriage. And the beauty of marriage is working through your hurt and pain and resolving your conflicts and solving your problems.
4. You can't make it work on your own. It's obvious that marriage is difficult--just look at how many couples today end in divorce. This is why it's so critical to center your lives and your marriage on the God who created marriage. To make your marriage last for a lifetime, you need to rely on God for the power and love and strength and wisdom and endurance you need.
#5: Never stop enjoying each other. Always remember that marriage is an incredible gift to be enjoyed. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."Enjoy the little things of life with your spouse: the food you enjoy together at home or in restaurants ... the movies you like ... the little inside jokes nobody else understands except for you ... the times you make each other laugh ... the games you play together.
And focus on making memories together: Plan special dates and weekend getaways. Make sure you reserve time for each other after you have kids. When you are old, you won't look back and remember how great it was to buy that new furniture or watch that great show on television. You're going to remember what you did together and saw together and created together."
How about you guys? If you were were giving advice to an engaged couple about what you wish you'd known before marriage, what would you say?
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9 comments:
Excellent words of wisdom! I learned these same truths when I got married!
Great article! Number 1 is so true, but often SO different to the beliefs of mainstream US culture.
Before we got married, I remember my dad telling me that it isn't about being 50/50. Sometimes, one person just isn't going to be able to give 50%, and you're going to have to lovingly and willingly give 75%, or 80%, or even 100%! That has been especially true this past week with us both being sickies!
This is a great post! I'm still so new at this marriage thing, I'm not sure I have anything to add yet. But I look forward to reading all the other comments!
Meredith - my mom has told me the same thing! You've got to be willing to pick up the slack even if it doesn't seem fair.
This is a great post!
I would say that you have to keep your expectations in check. We weren't designed to read people's minds either, so openly communicating will save a lot of headache later!
I would say exactly this, I love it! What beautiful advice, even for dating couples. Thanks for stopping by my blog love and joining in my giveaway, I really appreciate it. I love your blog and everything you love, I love too. I think we are going to get a long perfectly! :)
We are currently going through some 'growing pains' in our marriage, and this article, alcong with the Family Life website will be very helpful while we work things out.
Thanks for posting!
-Melissa
Ugh - #2! So true!! It's so hard to realize how selfish you are, and to try and change! I feel sometimes like I do all the "giving"! But my Dad told me once, that in a marriage it's not 50%/50%... it's more like 110%/110%. That both of us would feel like we were doing it all. So, in trying times, I try to remember that.
Good advice!
Enjoy every pre-baby minute that you can!
Hi there - found your blog through Mia Joie, anywho, a piece of advice that was given to me before I said "I DO"...
After the ceremony/reception, when it is just the two of you, take 10 minutes and write a letter to one another about the day, what it meant to you, how you felt, what you want in the next year to come, etc. Then, seal the letters together and put them in a safe place until your first anniversary, where you open your letters. Then on your first anniversary, write another letter to be given on your second anniversary, repeat each year.
I will tell you that I tell EVERYONE I know about doing this because it is the single thing that I crave all year long, although, with the hustle and bustle of your wedding day, sometimes it is forgetten to just a moment to breath and reflect on what just happened. That one time where my husband writes his feelings to me, 'cause sometimes he doesn't always write or say it. It is better than any gift I have ever received and it is so heartfelt.
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